Day of Decisions

It has come to a point where I have to make some decisions.  There are things that I need to let go of to take care of myself. I stress too much, and it’s not just about bills.  There are so many things…so much on my mind.

I won’t bore you with a list of things that are bothering me.  I won’t eve make a list. 

Don’t worry, I’m not leaving the blogging world. I love my blog and the 200 (yesssss!! 200!!) followers that I have collected. My blog is where I can rant and rave about thing. 

The reason I need to let some things go is that I work very hard.  I do my best in everything that I do.  Even though I work so hard I am passed over and ignored. Some days I feel like I am just invisible. 

On top of it all, I have been so busy doing other things that I have yet to get back to my writing. So I will be updating my twitter everyday with how many words I have written.  My goal…just to get back into the swing of things is going to be 100 words a day.  I know it’s not a lot.  Actually, it’s almost a non-existent number in the writing world. But until I can get myself back on track it is the goal I am going with.

I need to get myself back into the gym as well, so you can check twitter for that too.

I really need to lose weight. My left ankle has been giving me a ton of problems. Just last night I woke up crying because my ankle hurt so bad. I have never felt pain that bad before. Once I lose weight I will know for sure if that is the cause, and if it’s not I can move on from there. One step at a time.

There are other decisions that I need to make, but I’m not even sure where to start with those. 

So, wish my luck…and Happy Birthday? Because tomorrow is my 29th birthday. I’m so old! 

There is No Spoon


I was looking through some funny questions.  I do that sometimes, I think I just like answering questions.  One of these questions really stood out to me.  It kind of comes to a few things that I think about in the car…when I am alone and my mind is free to wander where ever it pleases.

Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

Here is my answer; Yes! 

Would you like an explanation?  

Here goes.  You might get lost in the roads of my mind…you have been warned.

I often wonder if maybe my life is already over.  What if this is just my life flashing before my eyes.  You know, they say when you die you basically relive your life.  So what if that is what I am actually doing right now.  I am laying in my death bed, waiting for my mind to catch up to what is actually going on.

Yeah, this thought actually sends me into a bit of a panic.  I’m obviously not ready to die, but once I get to the end of my flash back I will be happy with a wonderful life I have lived.  At least I hope I have a wonderful life after I get out of this mess I am in.  I imagine I will live a great life.

Or have I already lived a great life?

See what I am saying!! Crazy, twisty, odd roads of my mind!

Then there is the thought that nothing happens unless I have some hand in.  Stay with me here…this is going to get a little crazy.

Maybe this comes from the whole “You are not the center of the universe” thing, but just hear me out.  What if nothing in life is real.  It is only real because you thought it up some how in your mind.  What if we really are in the Matrix, but our own minds warp the world around us?  

Okay, this is going to get crazy if I don’t stop.  Let me use an example. There is an episode of the Twilight Zone called “A Matter of Minutes.”  This couple wakes up to hear construction going on.  When they check it out, there are a bunch of men in blue, with blue tools and vehicles.  As they start walking around their neighborhood, these men are told to catch the couple.  The couple run and find themselves in a what void and a man.  

This man tells them that they have some how made it ahead of time.  They are in the part of time that is still being created.  The couple finds out that time is built minute by minute, and then taken apart once that minute has passed.

It’s a great episode, you should watch it. 

Actually, you can watch it here… Thanks Youtube!

Anyways, I kind of see life like that.  Like maybe the world really is centered around me.  Maybe none of you are real, it’s just me in my own little world. 

Soon enough I will catch up to my death scene, or wake up from a machine the doctors have put me in for experiments, or look too quickly to the side and find the end of time.

Your turn, you answer the question.  Or have I fried your brain with my crazy thoughts?  I could go on…I could go on for days about this, but I will spare you the headache. 

Every Inch of You is Beautiful

I have been simply obsessed with this song since I first heard it.  So, take a quick look, dance a little bit, think a bit, and come back to read the rest of the post…or not. 


The first thought you may be thinking is “Of course she likes this song.  She is fat (chunky, fluffy, overweight) so anything that says she should be happy with her self she will like.”  Okay, maybe you didn’t go there, but a few people will and I am here to tell you something.

I love this song.  It’s not because it’s about being happy in my plus size body. It’s not because she calls skinny woman stick figure, silicon dolls.  It’s because the beat is so fun and light!

Now, I do have to touch on something.  While I am overweight, I am working really hard to not be.  But, there is nothing wrong with being happy in the body you have.  Yeah, you may be living an unhealthy life and I encourage everyone to eat healthier.  Not because we should all be super skinny, but because we only have one body and we need to take care of it.

No matter how happy you may be with your body, if you are overweight, or even underweight, it is damaging your body and taking years off of your life.  

That said, you shouldn’t pick on skinny women either.  I don’t understand where people think it is okay to shame someone who is too skinny or overweight.  Are we not adults here?  It’s a childish thing to do.  Even most kids are not going to pick on someone because of their weight unless they have learned it from their parents.  

It’s great that women are starting to feel comfortable in their skin.  But feeling comfortable also comes with taking care of your body.  Are you overweight?  Skinny? Slim?  Underweight?  It doesn’t matter.  Focus on eating healthy and getting some kind of exercise. Not to lose weight, but to be healthy. 

I know I am just saying the same thing over and over again, only in different words.  But I had to get my point across.  Stop being ignorant and cruel.  Grow up and treat each other with respect.  You don’t know the other persons story, they may be healthier than their skinny friend they are with, because that skinny friend is actually anorexic. Or that “anorexic looking” girl may have a very high metabolism , eats healthy, and runs track. 

What ever you do…just listen to the song again, because it’s a super fun song! 

Happy Friday friends!

Finding Clarity


As you know, I haven’t been writing much.  I haven’t been posting a lot of blogs, working on my short story, or even working on my two books that I have been working on.  I just haven’t sat down at my computer to pound out more words.

I realize that it’s not from being lazy.  At first I thought I was just being lazy.  I just wanted to do other things like watch TV or bake.  I would use the excuse that I was too tired to write.  And now that I have Pixel, I use her as an excuse too. 

The truth is, I have just been looking for my reason.  Why do I write?  I started writing poetry in High School, then in college I started my first book. They were ways to pass the time in class.  If you were writing, the teacher didn’t realize you were not actually paying attention.

Then I told myself that I was writing because it had some how become a dream. I wanted to become famous and possibly rich. I wanted to sit in my room and write all day, non-stop.  Writing was going to be my full time job. 

So I put more pressure on my writing.  It had to be perfect, it had to be Stephen King worthy.  Yes, the opinion of Stephen King matters to me, as well as Kim Harrison.  My two favorite authors.  I wanted to create something that they would love. 

I have been away from my writing for a few weeks now…maybe a month or so.  And clarity has finally shown it’s face.  I do not write to be famous. I do not write to get recognition from my favorite authors.  I do not write just to write.  

I write because I want to create something beautiful.  A beautiful world that someone escapes to when they have had a bad day.  A world that is ever present in someones mind.  A story that makes someone smile even in their darkest moments.

I have so many places in my head.  Places that are not real.  I have people that live there too.  They want to tell their story.  I want to tell their story.  These are the places and the people that helped me down some really rough roads, and I write about them in hopes that someone else can find solace in them as well. 

Maybe with this discovery I can get back to writing and feel good about it again. I do miss the words on the pages, and the characters that tell me their story.

Movie Review: TMNT



The Ninja Turtles have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.  I grew up loving these green mutants and wishing I was April O’Neil because she was best friends with the turtles. So, when I heard that someone was revamping the movie I was a little ticked and dubious.

I have been bashing the movie since the moment I heard about it.  I bashed it even more when I saw the face of the new turtles.

The 90's version. There was nothing wrong with them!

The 90’s version. There was nothing wrong with them!

Then I decided I was going to see the movie just to make fun of the new turtles.  I was going to talk about how horrible they looked and how bad the movie was.  I was going to give Michael Bay and ear full for messing with my childhood.  I mean, there were rumors that he was turning the turtles into aliens.  Hello!! MUTANT! That does not mean alien!

The other day I finally got my money together and went to the movie. I went in not expecting much. I expected to come out fussing about how everything was messed up, but I came out with a big smile on my face.

I thought the movie was fantastic. Mikey was still hilarious. Raph is still a hot head. Donnie is still a nerd. Leo is still trying to be a leader. And Splinter is still an awesome giant rat that will kick your butt and then nurse you back to health. I love that rat!

They did change the story a bit.  Which I wasn’t so angry with. It was actually a nice addition to the story.

Here is where a spoiler comes in…so, if you don’t want to know, skip to the next paragraph. 

The one thing that they changed up was a back story with April.  Evidently, April considered the turtles and Splinter her childhood pets. April’s father was the one working on the stuff that made them all grow.  When a fire started in the lab, April grabbed the turtles and Splinter and set them free.  I thought it added a nice perspective to the story.

The one thing I was upset about was the fact that there was no Casey Jones! 


Maybe it’s just me, but I really liked him! I might have had a crush on him too.  I have always had a thing for guys with long hair.  When you add “Bad boy” who isn’t really a bad boy, to the picture, I am all in.  Also, he isn’t as dorky as Vern…who is in love with April.  I really disliked Vern and felt like he kind of just got in the way.

I also didn’t care for Shredder.  But…who does?

That aside, I really enjoyed the movie. It didn’t totally crush my childhood love for the Turtles and it will never beat the original movies, but it was worth seeing in the theater. For me anyways. 

I will give it a 4 out of 5 rating. While I loved the movie, it wasn’t the 90’s version and they left out Casey Jones. 

Have you seen the movie? What did you think about it?

Nanu Nanu!

I know that the whole world is talking about it.  I know that some people are probably already sick of hearing it. But this news is devastating. A man that we grew up laughing with. A man that made the worst things seem amazing.  A great actor who was probably just as nice in real life as the characters he played in movies.  The world has lost a great man and we are all feeling the sting from it.

I can tell you right now, my news feed on Facebook is littered with pictures of Robin Williams. He played in so many movies that helped us through childhood or even in our adult lives when we forgot how to laugh.  Of course I am going to pay homage to this great man on my blog.

Here are a few things that I thought about when I found out of his death. (in list form because you know I love making lists)

  1. Who is going to put chattering teeth in his casket? (In reference to Toys.)1317
  2. I am going to create a rescue team to go save Robin Williams from hell. (In reference to his movie “What Dreams May Come.”)4225_3
  3. Peter Pan has gone to Never Never Land forever. I’m sure the lost boys will be thrilled to have their Pan back.Hook-Movie
  4. Genie is finally free. (I admit this one came after all the images on Facebook.)aladdin-whatsyourproblem
  5. Mork has gone home.1bad9c90-c0f5-11e3-a860-79b519b7a1d6_93682723

It’s so sad to think that someone who gave laughter to so many others, became so depressed that he took his own life. I wish that someone could have been there for him. I wish that someone could have told him how wonderful he was. I wish we could have all told him how much he meant to us. 

With great sadness, I say goodbye to one of the funniest men to ever entertain us. Farewell, Robin Williams. It was great while it lasted.

Monday Madness: Kickin It

Hello peeps!! I am trying to keep on top of things and I am bringing this blog back to life. I may even revamp my page…but seeing as I can only do so much with a free blog…that may not actually happen.

Anyways, happy Monday everyone! I keep forgetting that it is Monday. My days are all mixed up and crazy now. I have to actually look at my lovely agenda just to see what I need to do every day. It’s a wonderful life when it’s a busy one. 

On to the fun! Here is a video that I saw yesterday that I just fell in love with. A mother leaves the house to do some shopping, leaving her kids at home with their dad.  This dad is simply amazing. Instead of sending his kids outside to play or to their rooms, he pulls out the video camera and has a little fun.

My dad has always been a big part of my life. I found it funny when I saw that the new parents, the guys my age, didn’t have much to do with their kids.  This video restores my faith that there are some dads out there trying to stay in their kids lives.  Also, the little girl is adorable and the song is super catchy.

Have a wonderful day. And check back tomorrow for my movie review of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!