Hello Friends,
I realize that it has been a while. Things have been tough. I thought I had a handle on things, and I thought I was going to be okay, but I wasn’t and I’m not. I am not okay.
My dad has been gone 6 weeks now. It still hurts and I still can’t believe it happened. I lost my love for writing and reading. I lost my love for TV. The only thing I kept was my love for music, but even that caused problems. I had to listen to things that didn’t remind me of my dad…which was kind of hard because my dad loved music to.
This past week I finally admitted to myself that I wasn’t okay. I admitted that I may actually need therapy, to talk to a professional. I admitted it to my mom and my brother. And now I admit it to you and the rest of the world. I need help. And it’s okay that I need help. It’s not okay to continue trying to take care of things myself. Somethings you just need a little help getting through. Especially something this hard.
Today, I wrote a poem and actually finished it. It’s something I haven’t done in a very long time. I usually write poetry in my very dark moments. And this is probably the darkest moment of my life. So, for those of you still around waiting to hear from the lost and broken Heather…here is a little poem I have written.
Damsel In Distress:
There is no prince charming
There is no white horse
There is only a damsel
And she is in distress
There is no secret family
There is no secret fund
There is only a damsel
And she is in distress
There is no mother ship
There is no alien planet
There is only a damsel
And she is in distress
This isn’t a fairy tale
Life can be a villain
And here we have a damsel
And she is in distress
She has no kiss to awaken her
She has never lost a shoe
She is just a simple damsel
And she is in distress
Living in reality
Lost in fantasy
She is a damsel
And she is in distress
I know I can’t keep waiting
I have to save myself
I am a damsel
And I am in distress
Awkward Heather 